I don’t know the numbers, but a lot of people I know endured some sort of trauma growing up. A LOT. I also know that at the time that I was going through what I was going through, I felt very alone, like no one else in the world was experiencing what I was experiencing and no one else would understand. It was writers like Maya Angelou and books like I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings that are the reasons I sing, that I will not be silenced, that I will tell stories, that I will create the beautiful and amazing life of which I have always been worthy.

Even as a young girl, there was a part of me that knew that the things I’d experienced were not good things. I’d make promises to myself that I refused to repeat these patterns of bad behavior. That I would not hurt anyone in any of the ways that I’d been hurt. I haven’t always been successful, but I had my children late in life, when I knew I was ready to be what I needed to be and break cycles.

The power of writing, of telling my stories, of learning to see and understand patterns of thought and behavior in my stories and in the stories of others gave me and continues to give me insight that nothing else does.

I often return to talk to my younger self. She needs to know that the journey was not without tumult and pain, that she still has much healing to do, as do I, but that she is not broken and will not be broken. She also needs the comfort of knowing that she broke that cycle with her boys. They are her shining example of deep, impenetrable love.

The thread that connects you to all of the versions of yourself should never be broken.


  • Choose the version of yourself with which you need to connect. There are pivotal points in my life — 6 years old, 8 years old, 12 years old, 14 years old, 19 years old, 23 years old, 27 years old, and so forth. My deepest hurts live there. I most often choose those versions of myself to write. Something different may work for you. Do what works.

  • Always come from the most loving and nurturing place when talking to your younger self. If you knew then what you know now…. Go back and love yourself.

  • Write from the heart. Write whatever needs to be written.

  • Never try to pull lessons from letters. Unsent Letters to myself and others are left to be, pure expression and communication. This is about your journey.